This week my daughter turns 16 which in our family means she can start dating. She already has a date lined up for her birthday. To say the least this makes me a little nervous. To help with this dating process LizzyLou forwarded me the following application. I think it's a great idea but in my opinion it could be a worded a little stronger. What do you think?
=====================================
APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER
NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless
accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage,
and current medical report from your doctor.
NAME_____________________________________ DATE OF BIRTH_____________
HEIGHT___________ WEIGHT____________ IQ__________ GPA_____________
SOCIAL SECURITY #_________________
DRIVERS LICENSE #________________
BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES________________________________________
HOME ADDRESS______________________ CITY/STATE___________ ZIP______
Do you have parents? ___Yes ___No
Is one male and the other female? ___Yes ___No
If No, explain: ____________________________________________________
Number of years they have been married __________________________________
If less than your age, explain___________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
ACCESSORIES SECTION:
A. Do you own or have access to a van? __Yes __No
B. A truck with oversized tires? __Yes __No
C. A waterbed? __Yes __No
D. A pickup with a mattress in the back? __Yes __No
E. A tattoo? __Yes __No
F. Do you have an earring, nose ring, __Yes __No
pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a belly button ring?
(IF YOU ANSWERED "YES" TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION
AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY. I SUGGEST RUNNING.)
ESSAY SECTION:
In 50 words or less, what does "LATE" mean to you?
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
In 50 words or less, what does "DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to you?
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
In 50 words or less, what does "ABSTINENCE" mean to you?
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
REFERENCES SECTION:
Church you attend ___________________________________________________
How often you attend ________________________________________________
When would be the best time to interview your:
Father? _____________
Mother? _____________
Pastor? _____________
SHORT-ANSWER SECTION:
Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers are confidential.
A: If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be:
______________________________________________________________
B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:
______________________________________________________________
C: A woman's place is in the:
______________________________________________________________
D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:
______________________________________________________________
E. What do you want to do IF you grow up? ___________________________
______________________________________________________________
F. When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is:
______________________________________________________________
F. What is the current going rate of a hotel room? __________________
I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO
THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT,
NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.
_________________________________________________________
Applicant's Signature (that means sign your name, moron!)
___________________ ________________________________
Mother's Signature Father's Signature
___________________ ________________________________
Pastor/Priest/Bishop State Representative/Congressman
Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and
non-sexual. Please allow four to six years for processing.
You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call, Text or attempt to contact my daughter on Facebook (since you probably can't, and it would cause you injury). If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentleman wearing white ties carrying violin cases. (you might watch your back)
10 comments:
"Allow four to six years for processing" - LOVE it!
I tell the kids in our youth group that there's no reason to date until you're in college. I don't think I'll be able to enforce that with my own kids.
I'm with you Jeff. At least keep away from serious dating until college. It just gets in the way. Make lots of friends, it helps you figure out what you really want from a companion anyway.
Like a cartoon character father once told his cartoon character daughter, "No dating until AFTER you're married!"
Tough being a Dad! Poor, Mike!
This is perfect! Put them in a box outside your front door!
Happy Birthday Mike!
Good luck Mike, and Happy Birthday to you and your daughter!
Jeff L.
that was awesome. Can you e-mail that to me too? Jenny's got the address I am sure. Happy Birthday to you both.
My middle daughter Maggi, now 24 just got engaged. The whole dating thing was a mote point in high school. All the middle school boys remember her playing "through" the ball and them on the soccer field.
The next best situation was the State Police neighbor/friend who came over in full riot gear the evening of her first prom. The boy never came back. I didn't have to do a thing. The best of both worlds.
Hello
lexapro anxiety
Most significantly, you should conduct a regular checkup if you’re into Lexapro medication because since it’s an antidepressant you’re likely to develop suicidal thoughts, especially if you had not yet crossed 23.
[url=http://www.vidad2.com/]discount lexapro[/url]
First and foremost, never intake Lexapro with MAOI (Monoamine Oxidase Inhibitor), such as tranylcypromine (Parnate), rasagiline (Azilect), tranylcypromine (Parnate), phenelzine (Nardil), and selegiline (Emsam, Eldepryl.
http://www.vidad2.com/ - buy lexapro online
Likewise, once you begin to prefer Lexapro, don’t think of taking an MAOI again and the same 14 days of criterion should be met if you still want to take an MAOI while relying on Lexapro.
Post a Comment