They Came, They Came!!!

Do you remember in the Movie "The Jerk" when Steve Martin meets the mail delivery guy and realizes that the phone books had just arrived. He dances around the parking lot and sings at the top of his lungs "The phone books are here, the phone books are here". Well, I just had one of those moments.

When I went out to get the mail there was a package addressed to me and I knew what was in it. I refrained from dancing around and singing out loud but in my head all the way to the house I was singing "The Fat Cyclist Jerseys are here, The Fat Cyclist Jerseys are here"!!!!!!

This year Jenny and I are giving each other Fat Cyclist Jerseys for Christmas. I know that my mother is reading this right now and shaking her head in disgust that I even opened the package before Christmas but in this case it's imperative that we check to see if they fit or not. And, of course I needed to check them out. Hey, I'm an adult I'm allowed to peak at Christmas presents aren't I? Here are a couple of shots for your viewing pleasure.

Dang, it looks fast

Here's the saying inside of the collar

Finally, here's the secret "inspirational" inscription inside the middle rear pocket. Since its a secret don't tell anyone else. It will just be our secret.

It's going to be hard to wrap these babies up for the next month and a half but I can do it. After all I wouldn't want to disappoint my mother any more than I already have.

From what I remember of "The Jerk" right after Steve Martin got his beloved phone book someone started shooting at him. In this case I hope no shooting occurs at our house.

Cycling Terminology Quiz

For today's post I need for you to do something for me. Please put all of your books under your desk and take out a number two pencil. Does that last statement simultaneously take you back to high school and strike fear in your heart? Pop quizzes were never my favorite but if you're a cyclist I'm thinking that you'll like this quiz. Most cyclists have adopted a vocabulary which allows them to communicate efficiently with other cyclists and baffle eavesdroppers all at the same time. They do this by using strange terms related to their beloved sport which are familiar to other cyclists but mean absolutely nothing to others. So today I've got a quiz to test your cycling speech impediment. Feel free to take your time but please do not look on your neighbors computer during the test. That would be cheating! Ready Begin.

1. Granny Gear

a. Clothes that compliment hair which has a blue tint.

b. The third cog on a front chain ring.

c. A designer cycling clothing line designed for the active retired women.

2. Presta

a. A valve stem designed to fit a narrow wheel.

b. Brand name for bottled spaghetti sauce.

c. A shirt that has recently been ironed.

d. An Italian term meaning to race like your hair is on fire coined by Mario Cipollini.

3. Lactate Threshold

a. The amount of Chocolate milk a cyclist can drink after a tough ride without throwing up.

b. The point at which lactic acid starts to accumulate in the blood stream.

c. The proximity a cyclist can maintain to a cow without being chased.

4. Bonk (American Version)

a. The act of running into another cyclist while gawking at their bike.

b. A condition where depletion of glycogen stores results in sudden and severe fatigue.

c. The sound made by a cyclist falling over while stopped at an intersection and still connected to both pedals.

5. Cadence

a. The number of revolutions of the crankset per minute.

b. A chant sung by cyclists while riding together in a paceline.

c. The invisible zipper found in most cycling jerseys.

6. Blinky

a. The name of a famous cycling clown who frequents mountain stages in the Tour de France.

b. The act of getting a bug out of your eye at high speeds.

c. A small red flashing light attached to the back of a bike to attract the attention of passing cars.

7. Bobke

a. A Dutch term which means to ride in rain storms of biblical proportions.

b. Nickname of cycling and hand talking legend Bob Roll

c. A person who has the latest cycling gear but no cycling skills.

8. Clipless

a. A pedal which connects to a cleat on the sole of a shoe thus holding the shoe firmly to the pedal.

b. The act of wearing a bike helmet without buckling the chin strap.

c. A cyclist with long hair not put into a pony tail

9. VO2Max

a. The maximum amount of money a cyclist is able to spend on cycling equipment without the threat of divorce.

b. The number of days a cyclist can ride in a row without doing yard work.

c. The maximum capacity of an cyclist to transport and utilize oxygen during intense exercise.

10. Chamois Cream

a. A cream used by cyclists to reduce friction in sensitive areas.

b. A favorite cream used to top lattes after a tough ride.

c. Hair gel worn by many flamboyant cyclists.

OK, please put your number 2 pencils down. This test will be self scored so you're on the cyclists honor system. If there is such a thing.

Answers

1. B, 2. A, 3. B, 4. A, 5. A, 6. C, 7. B, 8. A, 9. C, 10. A

Here's the grading scale

10 - 9 correct, Excellent work, you've earned yourself an extra ride this week.

8 - 7 correct, You're getting there, spend a couple of hours at your local bike shop to sharpen your skills this week.

6 and below, if you own a bike please return it to the nearest bike shop immediately.

Thanks for taking the quiz. Feel free to report your score in the comments section and forward this test to fellow cyclists to test their knowledge.

New Economic Indicator

When I was in college I had to write a term paper in an Economics class which analyzed all of the current economic indicators. For those of you who aren’t familiar with economic indicators they are things like unemployment rate, housing starts, and the Consumer Price Index. With the stacks of analysis that I typed up I was then required to predict what would happen to the economy in the next year. I remember looking through all of my data that I had assembled and then basically making a wild guess and hoping my professor would buy it. I think I got a B on the paper.

Now that I’m a year or two older I realize the reason I had a hard time making sense of the economic indicators was because I was missing the most critical indicator of all. So, today I’d like to introduce you to the newest economic indicator which will surely be at the top of Timothy Geithner list the next time he briefs the president on the state of the economy.

*** The Mecca Price Index ***

A little under a year ago I wrote a post about the making trips to Mecca in our town. For those of you who haven’t been to Marysville, WA Mecca is the nickname of the local Coke bottling plant. In the parking lot there are 4 coke machines and last December a 12oz can of coke could be purchased for 25 cents. Times were good back then and everyone enjoyed social trips to Mecca for a refreshing beverage. Then in August of this year the Coke bottling plant placed signs on the Mecca machines stating that the price of soda would be increasing to 40 cents. I remember at the time thinking that the economy had really taken a turn for the worst and it would be a while before we bounced back. Since then the unemployment rate has gone above 10% for the first time since 1983. Coincidence? I don’t think so.

Last night we heard a rumor that the price of a Mecca soda had dropped back down to 25 cents again. Could it be true? Could the economy be on it’s way up again? We made a family outing out of the rumor and confirmed that indeed the price of a 12 oz Coke is once again a mere 25 cents. Halleluiah!!!

So my report to Timothy Geithner is that the Mecca Price Index is down. Thus, by year end the economy will start its grand recovery.

I think I’ll enjoy a Coke right now in celebration. Now, if I just had an opportunity to do that term paper again maybe I would get an A this time.

Cycling in the Rain

On Saturday morning I got up early and decided to go for a ride. After all it was early November in the Pacific Northwest so it should be a great day for riding. The one thing I forgot was that most of the rides in November where I live contain plenty of "Liquid Sunshine". I still wanted to ride so I gathered up my rain gear and headed out. Normally, the Centennial trail is incredibly crowded when the weather is good but on a rainy early Saturday morning this is what the trail looked like.


I had the trail pretty much all to myself. I only saw 2 other cyclists out and they were really pounding away and looking like they were having a great time sprinting for fictitious sprint points.

Once I got used to the rain and my body acclimated to the colder weather the ride was great. I'm looking forward to some more early morning liquid sunshine rides in the future.

No Shave November Update

Last week I divulged that I was going to participate in the No Shave November ritual by growing a soul patch. Well after a week of not shaving below my bottom lip not a soul has even asked me if I quit shaving there. How's that for not being able to grow facial hair? Lets face it, I'm just not much of a facial hair growing person. That's OK with me. I also noticed there are a few whiskers that aren't brown. No way they could be grey, I'm making a judgement call and calling them "blonde". I'll update you next week on the growth. I'm looking for some big progress next week.

6WS - Going Riding In the Rain Today

I've had enough inside bike riding for the week. I think I'll do some riding in the rain today. Not too bad if you wear the right gear and don't think about it too much.

To see more six word Saturday's click here. http://www.showmyface.com/search/label/6WS

How to Buy a Bike Trainer (Part 2)

Part 2 of How to Buy a Bike Trainer

Once you have made your decision on what type of trainer to buy here are some other things to look for in a trainer

• Make sure it’s sturdy and stable. The last thing in the world you want to do is lean over while riding and fall to the ground causing untold injury. You would never want to tell your cycling buddies that the gnarly gash on your leg was caused while riding on a bike trainer. That’s where unforgiving nicknames come from.

• Make sure it’s easy to install and remove your bike on the trainer. Since no one is ever motivated to ride on their trainer if it’s a long or tough process to put your bike on your trainer there’s a good chance you’ll find a lame excuse not to ride. Most trainers are designed to quickly install your bike. If it takes longer than a minute to install your bike flunk the trainer.

Where to buy your trainer

• Most bike shops carry really nice bike trainers and they will help you find one that will work for you. New trainers also come with a warranty. The only downside to this is you’re going to pay full price for a trainer. Unless you’ve got piles of extra cash laying around that you are dieing to get rid of this isn’t the best place to go.

• There are literally thousands of bike trainers that have been ridden only a couple of times if at all and then tucked away in a closet for a couple of years that are on the market at incredibly reduced prices. These are the ones to look for

• www.Craigslist.org is a great resource of people who want to get rid of their trainers. I just looked at Craigslist in our area and in under a minute I found a great trainer. http://seattle.craigslist.org/tac/bik/1449198823.html
  

• You can also find trainers on huge sales that have been returned. We picked one up at REI in Seattle that someone returned because they couldn’t figure out how to assemble it. We assembled it at the store, made sure it worked then bought it before someone else picked it up. We got it for half price.

So there you have it. Now you have no excuse for sitting around this winter. And if you get started training now you’ll be ready for the 3rd annual 100 Miles of Nowhere. Happy training.