Sunday, November 30, 2008

Never To Do List

Last summer I was talking with my sister in law at a family reunion and she mentioned that she had never seen the movie “It’s a Wonderful Life”. My sister in law grew up in Idaho and Utah where it’s almost a requirement to have seen this movie in order to maintain your permanent resident status. I’m not sure how she could have slipped through the “It’s a Wonderful Life” cracks through the years. I’m sure she’ll have to keep this under wraps before the authorities catch wind of this. Since my sister in law had gone this long having not seeing this movie she has made it one of her life goals to never see it.

Also, when I was a kid I knew a youth leader at our church that had never eaten a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in his entire life. What? How could this be? He explained that when he was a kid his older brother used to wrestle him to the ground and hold him down all the while breathing peanut butter and jelly breath in his face. So, he could never get himself to actually eat one of these sandwiches. Thus, another life goal of something never to do.

In the next month or so most of us will be reevaluating our goals and setting some new ones for 2009. I’ve already pulling my list of goals together for 2009 but these two people have got me to thinking that I should pull together a new set of life goals similar to them. A never to do list.

As I tried to come up with this list of things I’ll never do or accomplish it was a lot harder than I thought. My list isn’t complete yet but this is what I’ve got so far.

1. Never see ABBA, Neil Diamond, or Air Supply in concert. This should be easily accomplished because to me this would worse than any form of torture that I could think of. Wedgies, indian rope burns, and the stretching rack seem rather pleasant compared to seeing any of these artists in concert.

2. Never bungee jump. Bungee jumping combines two things I’m really not into. Heights and hurling headfirst toward earth with just a cable around my feet. I don’t think I’ll miss this one at all.

3. Never try mincemeat pie. I’ve never even seen a mincemeat pie in my lifetime but I’ve heard enough chilling tails of people “trying” to eat a piece of mincemeat pie to know this is something I never want to do.

4. Never own a recumbent bike. I know that people who own recumbent bikes swear by them but I also know that it's a requirement to grow a beard to ride one properly. Since I can only grow a meager beard recumbent bikes are out of the question for me.

This list is incomplete for now because I’ve only got the easy ones down. I guess I’ll have to work on my never to do “stretch” goals next.


331 Miles said...

I'm with you on the recumbent bike 'never'. But I would like to see Neil Diamond!

Weiland said...

My personal "Never" is to never learn to tie a tie. When I have to dress appropriately my wife ties them or I don't untie it, just slip it on and tighten it up. I think I have ties that have been tied since 1996.

Bike Buddy said...

My husband wishes he could say he never tied a tie. I will never run a marathon. Love my bike and have goals to ride some big rides but running is high on my never list.

Mike J said...

I wish I had never learned to tie a tie but my dad taught me as a kid. I do have some that I haven't untied in over 10 years though.