Years ago I saw a pair of cycling socks in a bike shop for the first time and thought to myself “that’s got to be just about the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen”. I still think that cycling socks are a huge marketing gimmick but now that I own a bunch of them I have to admit I love them. They are super comfortable and somehow they keep your feet dry while you ride. OK, maybe they aren't as dumb as I thought they were. In my defense, I’ve never paid more than $2 for a pair. In fact, I’ve received most of my cycling socks for free through promos and volunteering at events so that’s how I justify having so many pairs. Anyway, along the way I’ve acquired at least 4 pairs of Jolley Roger cycling socks. They are just about my favorites. They are grey and black and have a white skull and crossbones on the top of them. They look both intimidating and fast all at the same time. You just can’t go wrong there. Well, one Sunday morning while I was cooking up a batch of The Worlds Best Pancakes I devised the greatest freak out Jenny plan known to man involving these very cycling socks.
Here was the diabolical plan. Right before we left for church the boys and I would all put on a pair of Jolley Roger socks with our regular church clothes. Since these socks are grey and black they would blend right in with our nice clothes and no one would notice. When we got to church the boys and I would sit with our feet on the floor so the skull and crossbones wouldn’t show and Jenny wouldn’t see them. Then at an opportune moment in the meeting I would give a sign to the boys and we would all cross our legs thus showing off our Jolley Rogers socks at the same time.
My thought was that once Jenny saw that all of us were wearing them her eyes would grow to the size of garbage can lids and her face would turn bright red with embarrassment. I was super excited about this plan because I was sure that this stunt would become famous in our family as the day that Jenny passed out at Church.
As I told the boys about my grand plans they both shook their heads in disgust. Both of them said “Dad, you want to do that in Church? Are you sure that’s OK?” It was like they were trying to talk me down from the ledge or something and they are both teenagers!
After making another failed attempt at talking them into my grand plan I scrubbed the launch of my devious plot. I guess this plan goes on the pile of great ideas never executed. I still think it would have been great though. I think Jenny is grateful for rational kids.
