Sunday, December 6, 2009

Little Green Balls of Poison

Kids love sugar! I believe this is pretty much an absolute. They love it in just about any form. Cookies, cake, candy bars, soda, ice cream and the list goes on. How could you not like a food with a name like everlasting gobstopper or super double chocolate chunk fudge? I think if we let them our kids would eat some form of sugar based food for every meal. Of course being the health conscious people that they are I’m sure they would eat ice cream and cake for at least one meal of the day because after all there are flour, eggs, and milk in this meal. That would be their form of kid health food.

The love of sugar is one of the things that make you a kid. There is no way that I could as an “adult” eat like my kids do. It would make me sicker than a dog. So, when does this love of sugar go away? I remember as a kid when the vegetables would show up on my plate the gag reflex would initiate. For the most part gag reflexes are good. After all that is what prevents you from eating or drinking dangerous things like motor oil, paint thinner (I drank that once but that’s another story), battery acid, and poison.

My theory is little by little as kids are forced to eat vegetables their gag reflexes are dulled with the likes of broccoli, spinach, turnips, green beans, and peas. In fact, if forced to eat enough of these foods over time they actually acquire a taste for them.

Lately, I’ve been trying to eat healthier in addition to my training in hopes to get to an optimal riding weight. I’ve been eating green beans, salad, carrots, corn, and I even tried brussel sprouts for the first time in my life. To be honest they weren’t too bad. Not great but not bad either. I guess you can say that I’ve been eating like an adult. After all of this healthy eating there is one vegetable that I still can’t get myself to eat because the gag reflex still exists. This vegetable is like my form of kryptonite. I can’t conquer it and frankly I don’t really want to. So I’m following the example of Superman and just staying as far away from it as possible.

Today product review is on my vegetable nemesis “Peas”!


In my opinion Peas are little green balls of poison! They are just plain nasty. They top the chart on the gag reflex quotient in the three categories. Texture, smell and taste.

Once you have bitten into them peas have the texture of a nice warm inviting MUD. Right now I’m betting some of you are saying, but Mike, what about fresh peas right out of the garden? They don’t have that texture at all. That’s true fresh peas have escaped the membrane coated mud texture but they still don’t pass the rotten taste test. I think paint thinner might just taste better than peas. I’ve tried them both.

I’ve often said that everything tastes better with bacon. Bacon wrapped shrimp? Better! Bacon wrapped green beans? Better! Macaroni and cheese with bacon? Better. Bacon with peas? Not better.

So, from one friend to another my recommendation to you is to stay as far away from peas as possible.

They are little green balls of poison.

Finally, in the spirit of full disclosure, I have not received compensation from either the peas growers of America or the National Pea Haters Association (NPHA) although I’d like to become a member some day.

My name is Mike J and I approve this message.

3 comments:

Lizzylou said...

Ok, Peas are my FAVORITE vegetable. As in, when we harvested my parents garden and I was supposed to be shelling peas, my bowl remained empty because I ate every pea that I shelled. It just doesn't get any better than raw peas.

JoLyn said...

I agree - if they come in a can. Then they are a pile of olive green mush. But frozen peas. Now that's good!

How do you feel about edamame?

NEOMY JOHN said...

Awwww.... i love peas... they be my favorite too. But when they come in a can.. Nah.. But they will keep you healthy and fit for riding.