Tour of California - Rain Advice

This week is the Tour of California bike race. Bike racing is by far my favorite sport to watch on TV. Johan Bruyneel described it best when he compared bike racing to a multi day rolling chess match. It certainly is a chess match but this week there has been an added element of difficulty with all of the intense rain that the riders have had to endure. Who would have thought that rain would be a huge factor of the Tour of California.

As someone who tolerates rain 9 months out of the year I have some advice for Lance, Levi, Thor, Mark, and Floyd on how to read the weather forecasts and what all of the different rain variations really mean. I’ve also added some possible racing tactics just for fun.

Drizzle
This is a term for a very light, fine rain. Not really enough to get you very wet but just enough to be really annoying after hours in the saddle. Racing tactic advice, convince your cycling foes in the peleton that the drizzle collecting on their bikes is adding needless weight and the only way to shed this weight is to stop and squeegee their bikes off. When they stop to squeegee make a run for it.

Showers
This is your normal run of the mill rain but it comes and goes in spurts. This rain usually lasts for half an hour or so. Racing tactic advice, sneak up behind your rival teams and tie knots in the sleeves of their rain jackets. When the rain hits and the riders put on their rain jackets you can make a surprise attack. Although pro cyclist can ride incredibly well without hands the surprise of not being able to put their jackets on all the way should gain you at least 30 seconds on your rivals.

Rain
In contrast to showers, rain is steadier and normally falls constantly for hours on end. Racing tactic advice, since no racer would ever have a fender on his bike it’s important to position yourself in front of your chief rival and spray him in the face with rain water. While employing this tactic the racer should seek out as many muddy puddles as possible thus adding dirt freckles to his rivals face. It’s just the right thing to do and it will make for an unforgettable interview after the race.

Well, that basically sums up the different types of rain that the riders will encounter on the Tour of California. I’m confident that if these race tactics are employed your team will not only win but it will be a tour that will be talked about for years to come.

You Know You're a Cyclist - Part II

Some people are hard on watches so they need a new one at least once a year. Jenny for instance can destroy a watch in the space of 9 months without even trying. From the looks of some of her watches you would think she was a heavy equipment operator or she dealt with nuclear waste in her line of work. In her case, I think they’re called children.

On the other hand I can I wear a watch for usually 5 years or more. For some reason watches are pretty safe around me except for one component. Just like clockwork (no pun intended) after 6 months the small loop that fastens the ends of the watch bands together breaks. I hate it when this happens because this means that the small end of the watch band hangs free and gets caught on things.

To fix this problem I usually find a small rubber band and slip it over the end of my watch as a replacement for the original watch band loop. In the past I’ve gotten pretty creative with my watch band loops. Some of my favorites have been:

1. The rubber band that comes wrapped around broccoli
2. My daughters brightly colored elastic hair bands
3. A group of super small rubber bands that the kids use on their braces

For years Jenny had cringed at the sight of these colorful watch band loops but being the patient wife that she is has tolerated it very well.

The other day I was changing the rubber bands on my watch at work because I keep a bag of them at my desk. A co-worker started showing me his solution for the same problem and I was more than impressed with his solution. He cut up an old bike tire inner tube into small rings and then attached them to his watch band. Since bike inner tubes are black his solution blended in perfectly on his watch.

The next day when I came to work there were three of these tube sections lying on my desk. This was like getting an early birthday present. I immediately took off my brace rubber bands and put on my new bike inner tube ring. I have to say, it blends in so well with the rest of my watch you can’t even tell it’s there. It’s like watch band camouflage.

Here’s a picture of the of the bike inner tube section


Here’s a picture of the bike inner tube in its camouflaged state.



So I guess I have one more thing to add to my “You Know You’re a Cyclist When….” List:
You wear used bike parts in everyday life and like it.

My Perfect Riding Shorts

I, like most people have some favorite clothes. I’ve already told you about my thing for tie-dye shirts. Well, the article of clothing that is one of my favorite pieces of cycling attire is a very comfortable pair of camouflage shorts.

Years ago when I started to get serious about cycling I posted a question on a cycling forum in our area about what types of clothing I would want to wear in preparation for my first century. Almost everyone came back with a response that cycling shorts where not only a nice to have but a necessity. A couple of wise souls also added that if I was uncomfortable sporting the lycra look that it was acceptable to wear some shorts over top of them. That way I could ease into wearing cycling shorts in public. I took this advice at the time and bought some pearl izumi cycling shorts (which are super comfortable by the way) then dug through my closet to find the perfect pair of shorts to wear over my cycling shorts. Given the fact that I only owned one pair of shorts at the time this was an easy choice.

Sporting the Camo's on the STP

So, the camouflage shorts became my cycling shorts of choice and I’ve stuck with them ever since. Here are some reasons that I like them so much.

They randomly shrink and stretch
I got these shorts for one of my 29^th birthdays (I’ve had many of them) so I’ve been wearing them for years. Through the years they seem to go from fitting perfectly to fitting fairly snug and on occasion they are even baggy on me. I’m not really sure how this happens because I’m quite sure that I’ve always maintained the same body size all of this time. This leads me to believe that these miracle shorts randomly shrink and stretch.

They don’t chafe my knees
These shorts are the perfect length. They are long enough to cover my bike shorts but they are short enough that they don’t rub on my knees as I ride. If they were any longer I would have to apply chamois butter to my knees and that would be just plain wrong.

More pockets
Because they have pockets on the sides I’m able to carry extra gear when necessary. They are perfect for a gel or two, cliff bar, or the remote control when I ride inside on the trainer. You’re probably wondering why I would wear shorts over my cycling shorts inside. If you saw the look my kids give me when I don’t wear shorts over my cycling shorts you probably would wear them too. I can tell they want to shield their eyes like superman does to kryptonite but they resist.

Creates a great illusion
Finally, since my shorts are camouflage they tend to blend into the scenery. On multiple occasions I’ve heard people say, “Hey look, Mike’s not wearing any shorts”. I guess my shorts are good for a laugh. I’m game.

The other day I found a 2 inch tear in my beloved camouflage shorts. I guess after thousands of miles of riding with them on it was bound to happen. If I weren’t wearing cycling shorts under them I would probably have to get rid of them. Lucky for me I always wear my pearl izumi’s with them so I’m thinking there’s probably years of wear left in them.

I guess the ultimate plan of working my way away from the camouflage shorts into just cycling shorts is taking a little longer than expected. Some day I may be a full fledged cyclist proudly sporting my cycling shorts as I fly down the road but for now if you see someone in the Seattle area wearing some really beat up camouflage shorts with a hole in them be sure to say hi.

Going Green Ideas

Recently I read an article about how a rock concert was powered by people riding exercise bikes hooked up to generators. There were literally 6 people riding exercise bikes in the back of the concert that powered the amps, lights and PA system.

This is a pretty cool concept but if people run with this idea this could change the face of a lot of events. Here are some things that could change.

The New and Improved Tour de France:
Rather than riding through the alps the new format would simply have teams hooked up to generators. Each stage would consist of teams hooked up to trainers and generators and the first team to power a small French village would take the stage win for the day. This gives new meaning to the amount of watts a rider produces. Riders like big Thor Hushovd would have a huge advantage with this format. Check out the tree trunk power producing legs on this guy.

I could also see events powered by huge blocks of riders. Here’s a potential headline gone wrong. “Super bowl called off at half time due to bonking generator riders” Apparently, the Super Bowl organizers neglected to provide Gatorade and Power Bars to the riders and by half time they just plain ran out of gas. The organizers called this mishap a Gatorade malfunction.

This could also mean a new set of chores for the kids. In addition to cleaning the kitchen after dinner or mowing the lawn on the weekend kids could also be assigned to put in some generator rides to power the house. I can just hear it now. “Mom, I rode yesterday, Tommy never has to ride. It’s just not fair.”

I’m all for going green but this may not be a good idea after all. Never mind.

I Have a Theory

A couple of years ago Jenny and I were in our LBS getting a bike fit for our new bikes. The technician doing the bike fit mentioned that women typically don’t ever stand and pedal while they ride. I thought, no way, everyone stands and pedals it’s just part of riding a bike. Or is it? Over the years I’ve tried to watch for this and for the most part he was right! Women don’t stand and pedal even up tough hills. What’s up with this?

Last summer this theory was proven again as I watched the Olympic mountain bike races (on Canadian TV of course). The first night I watched the event was the women’s race. I noticed that all of them stayed in their saddles and ground up the steep switchbacks even as they passed each other. Very rarely did they get out of their seats and pedal.

The next night I watched the men’s mountain bike race on the exact same course and all of them were standing and pounding on their pedals up the same steep switchbacks. Of course there are men who only stay in the saddle and women who stand and pedal but for the most part this theory holds true.

So why the difference? If bikes had been around in Socrates time I’m sure he would have contemplated this situation at length and come up with a theory. Well, here are my theories.

Patience Factor
When I stand and pedal these days it’s because I’m running out of patience with sitting and grinding up a hill. My theory with hills is to sit and grind up hills until I just can’t stand it any longer then stand and mash pedals the rest of the way. It burns a lot of energy but it gets the whole climbing experience over with. A lot of the time I stand and pedal because I just don’t have the patience for sitting and spinning. I think women have a lot more patience for this.

Center of gravity
If you haven’t noticed men and women are built different. OK, I really hope you’ve noticed. Because of this their center of gravity is different. Could that make it more uncomfortable for women to stand and pedal? This is probably a weak theory but hey it could happen.

Boys grew up standing and pedaling
As a kid as soon as I learned how to ride a bike and had a little confidence I had one goal in mind. How far can I jump my bike and what kind of ramps can I build out of scrap wood in the backyard to jump my bike farther. Back then it wasn’t about riding distance but jumping distance. When you jump a bike you certainly don’t stay in your seat, at least not more than once if you know what I mean. Also, most boys grow up riding BMX bikes which are very small and don’t really lend themselves to sitting and pedaling. They scream to their riders “stand up and pedal so we can go fast”. Riding wheelies was also a right of passage as a boy. If you couldn’t ride a wheelie you just weren’t cool. You have to do this standing. Therefore, standing and pedaling quickly becomes a very natural thing for a boy who is looking to jump over anything and everything and ride wheelies in their neighborhood.

On the other hand Jenny can count the number of times she jumped her bike as a kid on, well..... no fingers. She can’t remember ever jumping her bike. The only time she ever remembers standing up and pedaling was when she had a friend on the back of her bike and they needed to get up a hill which probably wasn’t a very common occurrence.

The next time you are out on a group ride check this out. I think you’ll be surprised at what you see.

I’m sure there are tons of other theories out there and you probably have a great one of your own or maybe you totally disagree with me. If you’re brave enough to share your opinion I’d love to hear it

By the way, have a great weekend.

Down With Yard Work!

Last Saturday was a nice crisp sunny fall day. Perfect for a bike ride. Rather than riding I spent most of the day working in the yard. Yuck!! For some people spending the day working in the yard is therapeutic and almost like a little slice of heaven. To me it reminds me of the ordeal of eating vegetables as a kid. You’ve got to do it but it’s not a pleasant experience. I have grown up a little since those kid vegetable days though. These days I only stomp around making faces for a couple of minutes before I give up and head out to do the yard work.

This last Saturday as I worked out in the yard mowing and hauling dirt I tried to think of the advantages of yard work over cycling. I seriously wracked my brains and could only come up with two advantages. Here they are:

1. You don’t have to deal with hostel drivers shouting obscenities and throwing things at you while you’re carting dirt around the yard. That is unless you stole the dirt from your neighbors yard and he just caught you.
2. Doing yard work scores major points with your wife which in turn builds up cycling trip credits for the spring and summer. (at least that’s what I’m hoping)

That’s my entire list. I just couldn’t come up with any other advantages of doing yard work over cycling.

On the other hand the list of advantages of cycling over yard work is almost unlimited. Here is a short list that came to mind. I’m sure there are thousands more.

1. The harder you work cycling the more breeze you have in your face to cool you off. When doing yard work the harder you work is just that, harder work. No advantage.
2. In cycling if you get tired you can coast and you still make progress toward your destination.
3. If you don’t wear gloves while you ride your bike you don’t run the risk of getting blisters the size of Texas on your hands.
4. If you get tired while you’re cycling and you’re riding with a buddy you can pull behind him to draft. I don’t know much about yard work but I’m pretty sure there aren’t any opportunities for drafting even if you’re following someone else with a wheelbarrow.
5. If you take your wife on a great cycling adventure you score major points with her which in turn builds up cycling trip credits for the spring and summer.

I think I’ve just talked myself out of doing yard work for the rest of the year. It’s a good thing winter is coming.

Cycling Conversations

If you have ever ridden a bike for any significant distance you’ve probably had a conversation with yourself. It’s really hard not to. When I ride, the conversations I have with myself can be put into one of five categories.

Arguments
I have the most amazing arguments with myself when the ride gets tough. Most of the time the argument goes something like this.

Dang, my legs are really starting to get tired.
Just get over it you’ve still got 20 miles to go
Maybe someone I know will drive by and offer me a ride home
Yea, like that’s going to happen
OK, dumb thought. Must keep riding. This is fun remember


Pep talks
If I’m having a good cycling day for some reason I’m giving myself good pep talks. Such as:
Oh yeah, I just made it over the third hill and my legs are holding up pretty well today. I’ll have no problem with the rest of them at this rate. Now I remember why I ride.

Justification
This conversation usually begins way before I start riding. I start making up excuses why I can take the day off or go off of my training plan. The excuses range from really technical such as “I read in a book that your body needs recovery time and if it’s good enough for Lance Armstrong I need some time off too”. This actually works sometimes but most of the time I come back to my senses and ride anyway.

The other justification is a lot simpler such as should I ride today or take a nap? Ride or nap? Ride or nap? This one is a lot tougher for me because one of my super powers is the ability to fall asleep any time anywhere. Napping usually wins in this conversation.

When I road the STP in 2007 I bought a cool STP t-shirt the night before the ride. On day 1 when I really wanted to quit I had a justification conversation with myself to keep riding. The conversation was “hey man, you already bought the shirt if you quit now you’ll feel like a dork wearing it.” It’s amazing that a simple conversation like that could motivate me for 102 miles but it worked.


Calculations
Once I’m riding for some reason I have these wild calculation conversations going on in my head most of the time. They are like those terrible distance times rate = time story problems that we learned in 6th grade but they never end.

They sound like “OK, I’m traveling at 15 MPH and I have 37 miles to go if I factor in 1 pit stop and three hilly sections what time do I estimate that I’ll get back home. Oh yeah, I’ll also need to factor in time to hook the bikes on the rack and driving time back to the house”.

And on and on it goes. To end this horrible math conversation I usually turn off my distance reading on my cycling computer. Without that figure I’m not smart enough to solve the equation anymore so I quit thinking about it. Conversation ended. Thank heavens.

Misc
I’ve often heard that riding a bike is equivalent to traveling at the speed of life. By that I mean you are able to see a lot of things on your journey by bike that you never would by car and you also have more time to think about these strange things. So these conversations usually go like this.

“Man that barn looks old. I wonder if I was even born when it was last painted. I wonder if they had to paint it all by brush back then. Who do you think painted it and how many owners do you think have owned it since it’s been painted.” This conversation could meander for hours and usually does if no one else is around.

Come to think of it I do have a lot of conversations with myself when I ride alone. I hope this is healthy. I should probably ride with others more often. At least I don’t have group conversations with myself when I ride alone.

Top 10 Reasons Why the Tour De France is the best sporting event of the year

I haven't ridden outside this week so far so I don't have a riding update for you. But I'm really getting excited for the Tour de France to start on Saturday. Here's my top 10 list of Why the Tour de France is the best sporting event of the year.

1. Bob Roll’s pronunciation of Tour-Day-France
2. Crazed fans are allowed to stand so close to the riders on the mountain stages that they can run along the side of them and pat them on the back.
3. Watching the Tour de France increases your vocabulary with words such as Peloton, Domestique, Maillot Jaune, and Musette.
4. Wild sprint finishes – Cycling’s version of roller derby.
5. Displays of sportsmanship – if one of the race leaders gets a flat the rest of the leaders will wait for him to catch up before they start racing again because they don’t want to win on a technicality.
6. Crashes – busted carbon fiber, torn spandex, and road rash! Good times.
7. No cheerleading squads, cheesy half time shows or ticket scalpers to be found anywhere.
8. Punishing mountain stages
9. Watching Bob Roll constantly talk with his hands
10. It’s a lot easier to ride the bike trainer in the house if cycling is on TV.